What do you want to be remembered for?

One time I was at the Portland Airport and I had some time to kill so I got an amazing Bánh Mi from a restaurant there (seriously it's the best I have had besides the one at Asian Grill in Mount Vernon, WA) and went and sat in the mini movie theater they have at the airport. It's pretty cool, they were showing short documentaries on different people and what their life's work has been. I thought how cool to be so passionate about something you dedicate a huge part of your life, professionally and recreationally, to it; it's your legacy. For years, I thought a lot about this. I was kind of down, thinking about what my legacy is and what I want to be known for. I don't know how to do anything that grand or adventurous or daring. We often think a legacy has to be a huge, heroic act that moves mountains (or scales them for some people). But what if it didn't have to be? We forget all of the little heroic things people do every day, the simple things; sharing music and laughter with someone, giving sincere compliments/recognition (even to strangers), giving warm hugs (calm down I'm not Olaf, haha), praying with someone or offering to pray for them, the sharing of knowledge like teaching someone your language or learning someone else's, the neighbor that always has the popsicles for the kids, etc etc. In this world, we are human beings, not human doings; we are created with the gift of divinity, creativity and lovability, it's what you decide to do with it; that is what matters. You are all valuable as human beings, not measured by what you do; remember that; I know often in this world, society tells us otherwise.

Happiness is a temporary, external emotion from good events (like a promotion), while joy is a deeper, lasting inner state of contentment and purpose that persists through challenges, stemming from meaning, gratitude, or connection, not just circumstances. Happiness reacts to good happenings; joy is a choice, a deeper state of being that coexists with life's difficulties.  

But in the question, "what do you want to be remembered for", think of what brings you joy and you may find it; it may not even be in something that you or someone does; but in something that just is or exists like the joy of appreciating, gratitude, fresh flowers or warm sunshine or quiet snow. Now I know it's a tv show, but I think of my daughter who says she can smell snow like Loralie on Gilmore Girls. It can be one small magical thing or memory; you never know what it may mean to another person.

As my Uncle Mike also known as Sundance, struggles with the changes and taxing of aging I sat at the edge of his bed and asked him what he wanted to be remembered for. He said he wanted to be remembered as a great harmonica player. So even though I can't get him to go anywhere with me or hardly leave his room; I come and sit by him and ask him to play for me and this Christmas I sat at the end of his bed and he actually got up to find his harmonica and play for me. Seeing a man that is almost lifeless or expressionless and clearly does not care about much anymore; he lights up when he plays his harmonica and starts doing things again I didn't think he could do anymore gusting his air into that little harmonica and tapping his foot to the rhythm becoming lively once again. Check out some clips of his harmonica music on my instagram or facebook page and please leave feedback that I can share with him, it will brighten his day!

So why did I start this venture? I think that is what brings me joy, the adventure of learning, sharing of what brings others joy and the importance of sharing and preservation as well as transition. I love to hear about their passions and lives and see people light up it's like "second hand joy". It's the coolest thing. So I guess while I have talked about my family of having a legacy of herbs and plants, which they do and it's been fun to share and make some products, I don't want it to be about products/things; my own personal legacy is just being me; helping others see joy and being a light.

And trust me, it's not that my life is sunshine and rainbows, it's taken lots of work; I don't even think I knew who I was until I was 40 years old and then I was just on the edge of getting started. This past decade has been a journey of self discovery and healing; practicing and becoming a yoga teacher, tons of therapy, life coaching and workshops as well as reading and "self love and life homework". I spent years not listening to that inner voice, making mistakes and being stubborn. I still am stubborn and I still do make mistakes; but I have learned to listen to that inner voice and smile through the rest, but most of all learn; learn to keep what matters, have those hard conversations and let anything else that no longer resonates with me; go. I have learned the importance of quiet, of reset, of being alone and creating a life that I love at a pace that I love. As I approach 50 this next year, I feel as though I am preparing for something; for what I do not know, but something of a transition. I'll be honest it's a little unsettling, but at the same time exciting. And I learned years ago; when something is scary, yet exciting and gets your heart going at the same time; then go for it!! I did not understand this at 40, I was just learning who I was and although I was not ready at the time, I am ready and preparing for whatever comes next and I have this wonderful feeling it will be amazing, whatever it may be! Maybe that will be working with you throughout a transition? Maybe it will be my own?

Happy New Year loves I hope this year is filled with smooth transitions or gentle stillness, whatever God may have in store for you. I am here for you please reach out!

With love and gratitude, Tosha